Motherhood changed everything for me—my body, my identity, and my sense of self. I
never expected to feel so disconnected from the person I used to be. The weight of
sleepless nights, shifting priorities, and the overwhelming pressure to "bounce back"
made me question my worth. I had spent so long measuring myself against impossible
standards that I forgot the beauty of simply being me.
Before having my child, I did not realise how much of my self-worth was tied to external
validation—how I looked, what I achieved, and how others perceived me. But becoming
a mother forced me to confront a different reality. My body, once praised for its strength
and resilience, became something I struggled to recognise. The stretch marks, the
softness, the exhaustion—I saw them as flaws rather than evidence of the incredible
journey I had undertaken.
Returning to work as a healthcare professional added another layer of complexity.
Society often places immense pressure on mothers—to be fully dedicated to their
careers while also being ever-present at home. The expectation to juggle both seamlessly left me feeling like I was constantly falling short. My unpredictable schedule, long shifts,and the emotional toll of my job made it difficult to be the mother I thought I should be.
I felt stretched between two worlds, trying to provide for my family while also being there
for my child in every moment. It was in this struggle that I realised something important:
I could not do it all perfectly, and that was okay. Letting go of the illusion of control and
embracing the unpredictability of life became essential for my well-being.
Surprisingly, pageantry became an outlet that helped me find empowerment in both
motherhood and in being available for myself. It reminded me that I am more than just a
mother, a nurse, or any single role that society expects me to fit into. It gave me a space
to rediscover my confidence, celebrate my body as it is, and reconnect with my passions.
Through pageantry, I learned that dedicating time to my own growth and joy did not take
away from my family—it made me a better version of myself for them. It showed me that
I could be both a present mother and a woman with her own dreams.
The hardest part was not just the physical changes—it was the mental battle. The inner
critic telling me I was not enough, that I should be doing more, looking better, feeling
happier. I felt isolated, even though I knew so many other mums must have been feeling
the same way. And that is when it hit me: if I was struggling, surely others were too.
So, I started talking about it. I shared the raw, unfiltered reality of motherhood—the highs
and lows, the doubts, and triumphs. I stopped hiding behind perfection and started
embracing the mess. And in doing so, I found something powerful: connection. I was not
alone, and neither are you.
Self-acceptance is not a destination—it is a continuous journey. Some days, I still battle
the expectations I once placed on myself. But I remind myself that my worth is not
determined by a number on the scale, the opinions of others, or how quickly I “get back”
to anything. My worth is in my presence, my love, and my resilience.
To anyone struggling with body image, self-worth, or feeling like they are not enough: you
are not alone. You are already worthy, just as you are. Every scar, every change, every
version of you is beautiful. It is okay to be imperfect. It is okay to let go of control. Life will always be unpredictable, but by embracing the reality of what is, rather than what we think it should be, we can find joy in the present moment. And I hope that by sharing my story, you find the strength to embrace yours.